Broken Glass ~ View topic

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

Zee's Mom trying to keep her? It was a nice thought, and had Jules blushing from nose to ears.

"You mean last year with the Bentley?" Jules asked curiously. Tucking her hair back behind her ears. "Donno. You'd have to ask him about that one. I mean, if you treated him like he was fragile he'd probably be pissed, but if you left him with his dignity." She shrugged, "Guess you'd have to ask him about it."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

Zee just nodded, "Ha! Him? Fragile? Then I guess he was ok with it then." It was water under the bridge most likely. He might not even remember it.

She stretched and let out a growly little yawn.

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

"I'd hate it if people treated me like I was fragile too. I mean, I guess it would really bite dignity in the tush, and if someone was so worried I'd break I mean, wouldn't that make for a lot of confusion?" Jules rambled on in her usual fashion. "The puppy is doing good too. He's getting a little tubby already, but he and Apples have worried out a system."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

"He's not worried she'll mistake him for a snack anymore, or bury him under a load." She grinned and then looked a tiny bit serious.

"I know you asked me this a really long time ago. " She pulled at the hem of her skirt, "But you didn't push me into anything, you know..." with Michel. was the unspoken finish.

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

"I kinda figured you'd say that," Jules said and turned her head to rest her cheek against her knees. "I mean with Mirelle and the fight she was just pushing and pushing, and I got upset and said if she was going to point the finger at me over Michel she had to point to herself too over her brother. Means you'd have to point to yourself 'cause of Sawatari, and finally I got tired of all the danged pointing. You know? I mean, when I was upset I was upset at you guys for not supporting me, but I was upset at Mr. McClaredon for what he did. I wasn't pissed at Mirelle for feeding me pictures of him, but double standards really tick me off."

"You know, I was told when I was little don't point the finger at somebody. You're pointing three times back at yourself, and you know they're right? I try hard not to do it myself 'cause," Jules tucked her hair behind her ear, "its hypocritical, and I know my brother isn't perfect. Thank goodness I don't think I could have lived with him if he was even if he is anal about hampers, and leaving things around the house. He's a giant dork. He's got a serious jerk streak, and I know he can be so cold. He screws up a lot, and I love him. I love him because he's always been there for me, and I've always known I come first no matter what it costs him personally. I want to be able to do that too."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

Zee had to take a very deep breath and think of snow.

"We didn't support you?" Surely, surely there was good...and probably long, explanation for that.

Everything else could wait.

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

"In the classroom when Mr. McClaredon was saying those things, and I was telling him he was wrong."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

â€œWe've already been over this. Mr. McClaredon is an asshole.â€ Well, that was certainly succinct, â€œHe doesn't care for anyone but his own damn self.â€ She practically spat it out.

â€œI said and did what I did with Jun because I'm proud of him...and and...if you somehow ended up together, I'd be happy to see it! He's just so...so damn...â€ it took a beat to find the right word, â€œasexual that it's just weird. Like all he wants to do is program computers, run Violette and come up with new tea.â€ it was the grump only a younger sister could pull out, â€œHe'd be good to you.â€

Zee finally had to stand up, she couldn't be this mad and stay seated, â€œIf I had one wish, one fucking wish, right now.â€ she sucked in a deep breath in an attempt the quell the angry tremors her body was racked with.

â€œIs that I'd gone out myself to find him, that I'd have carted you off to my own damn house.â€ She was near tears, hot and angry from something she couldn't work out but so desperately wanted. â€œSo I could have both of you back.â€

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

Holy craploads but that was an old email already. Jules had forgotten she even sent it. Certainly she hadn't given it any thought since about being upset at her friends.

"Both of us?" Jules asked quietly. To Jules, Zee seemed to be in a very hard place. A very hard place, and she'd never heard the other girl complain. Not once. It made the blonde hold her friend in awe more than once over the months that passed. Wishing she knew the secret of that kind of strength. Hoping Zee would vent it out to her some day if she needed.

It didn't escape Jules's awareness what was going on would be hard on Zee too. Friends and all, and like she said to Zee a long time ago. Things rippled like drops hitting water.

She wanted to tell Zee she'd be happy if they'd got together too. Her brother and Zee. She thought Zee would be good for Michel. How good Michel would be for Zee was debatable, but they were both stubborn so she figured they'd work it out. "Come on. Please. Sit down and tell me."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

Zee shook her head, "I'm too angry to sit."

"One stupid act and everyone is all fucked up! He's just a stupid man, but like he's got some shiny god-like powers imbued on him like if he'd done the right thing everything would've been ok." Her words laced with the frustration of months and months.

"Would your Grandpa like it that his death caused all this...this crap?! I mean mourning is all good and stuff but not if it turns the people you love into something they're not." She simply couldn't take it anymore and turned to face the trunk of the tree, grabbed a familiar branch and hoisted herself up into the branches full of leaves that were wearing their seasonal colors.

She needed to think, to cool off, to not want to kick everyone's ass.

It had reminded her of when her Nana died, she'd barely been in high school a few months. There were still times she could swear she'd hear her voice going, "Elizabeth, stop sulking and help me figure out if I've mixed the right reds for this."

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

"That's my biggest problem," Jules confessed as she looked up the tree at Zee. "People turning into someone they're not. I mean... Okay, here's the deal. Basic premise of the argument is if you raise someone to be weak they'll be weak and they won't be able to survive in this world on their own. If you raise them to be strong. They'll be strong, but if you treat a strong person as if they're weak eventually they'll break. That's what hurt Michel so badly 'cause asking for help doesn't make you weak."

"I don't see my brother act like himself. I see him doing things that aren't natural to his character. He's always been a man very much in control with good instincts. It doesn't stop him from screwing up, but still," Jules's face screwed up tight. "I worry. Something isn't right."

"Plus, its the holidays coming up, and its starting to feel a little weird. Leon'd be calling us already you know?" She hugged her knees a little tighter to her chest. "He wasn't really big on Halloween, but he'd set up this display for the neighborhood kids. It was really the same decorations every year set up around a bench, but he'd always change it up. The kids would come over and sit down in this display, and Connie'd take their pictures. Then the next year when they stopped by for candy there would be a picture waiting of them in their costumes."

She rocked a little bit. "Its not going to happen this year. Connie sold the house and she'd not doing too great. Thanksgiving is going to be over at her apartment at the home. It was always Leon calling as soon as Advent started. He loved Christmas."

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

The leaves gave a little shake, "Probably because he likes Mr. McClaredon, all kinds of weirdness tied up in that."

"The first year is always the hardest, it gets better." She still ended up having to get up and leave the room sometimes when decorating the tree and finding ornaments her Nana had made. Especially the ones they'd made together.

She counted back, this would be the third year.

Dark Phantoms Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 4742

"I wish he liked somebody else," Jules said. Her hands going to grip the laces of her shoes.

"Everybody keeps saying that. It gets better. I just wish it got better sooner," Jules sighed and tugged on her laces. "Zee?"

Time to get it out. "I sort of asked Mr. and Mrs. Boland to help me set up a part of the basement in Michel's new house. You know the room he made me in the---" CRAP! She wasn't supposed to let it slip Michel made it. Crap.

"I want to set up the room back in his basement. Kinda like... Uhm... I want to get... I want my brother back. I wanna be able to talk to him again even if its not like the way we used to. I sorta want to show him with it, and I was wondering if you'd help with the final installation since you've got the art skills to fix any of the seams or do touch up work. Please?"

Phantoms Wild Joined: 23 Jun 2006 Posts: 3835

"Me too." She groused, but you could never choose that for yourself. Things just happened. It was annoying.

She nodded briskly, "How could I forget it! I'd love to help you with it." Her mind was whirring away with mental snapshots of the room.

"I think that's a very sweet reminder. He built it for you as a sort of sanctuary, and now you could both use it." She smiled and all but wiggled at the thought.